Confessions of a Mothers Heart

I havnt felt this vulnerable as a Mother in a long time. I have held Tyler under my wing for 5 years and though he has gone to pre-chool and Pre-K its nothing like preparing your child to going to kindergarten. I hope we have prepared him well these past several years. I hope we have made it clear that no one dare touches or hurts you in anyway shape or form. *Now look here I go bawling my eyes out and he hasnt even gone yet. Hes in the toy room right now playing with his toys and just as anxious for school day as I am.

I hope he can filter out the good kids form the bad kids and formulate a good group of kids to hang out with that will build him up and support his religious beliefs. I know its alot to take in for just a "Kinder Mom" But I have never felt so naked in my Motherhood as I do today. I hope he'll be okay during recess on the BIG playground. Even though he will only be surrounded by 1st and maybe 2nd graders, still I know this world can be harsh and cruel no matter what age he faces. I usually am not filled with so much anxiety, but when it comes to sending your kid loose for the first time out in the BIG world its pretty nerve racking.

Another concern of mine is his safety during his first Bus Ride home. You bet this Mama will be there right as he lines up as school and I will even watch him from afar as he takes that first leap on the buss. yes I will be that Mom that follows the bus from school to the designated bus stop. How long will I do this? I am not sure. Its just a Mom thing. He has to ride the bus all by himself today. A little 5 year old in a BIG giant bus with older kids way bigger then him. Hmmmmmm......I think its fair to be in a little bit of a panic.

Lucky for Tylers sake, He is unaware of any of my fears and concerns. I want him to succeed in change and know that his Mother and father believes in him all the way. I want him to judge and make his own opinions on lifes experiences and I want to be that shoulder he can lean on for strength and encouragement. He has received nothing but words of encouragement, warm snuggles on the couch, and tons of "You Can Do Its". But as I am filled with just the same anxieties as him I have my Heavenly Father and wonderful Husband whispering those same words in my ears today as well.
" We can do this"

So cheers to new beginnings and to a calm heart to this over anxious MaMa. Soon it this will be an old hat for both of us.