I just have to post this wonderful message from church today. It was very uplifting and helped me in ways I cant explain. I hope that down the road my sister and daughter-in-laws can gain just as much strength from this article as I have.
Ensign AUG. 1989 The Worth Of The Souls Is Great
No matter what our social status, appearance, or circumstances, our Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to recognize our worth. Our behavior may sometimes prevent us from feeling esteem for ourselves, but we can change that behavior. If we sin or make mistakes, we can repent. The Lord suffered "that all men might repent and come unto him." (D&C 18:11)
Its not an easy task raising 4 little boys all under the age of 6. Add Health problems and medical debt to the mix and it leaves this worn out Mother exhausted in all aspects of life. Instead of feeling short changed I suppose after this lesson I am feeling more grateful for those hidden blessings in my life. I may not have an abundance of friends, or the most fashionable clothes, and yes considering my health circumstances its only fair to feel judged and incompetent in some areas in life that others excel in. But as I reflect on this quote above I know that it is my behavior that leaves me feeling incapable or unworthy. I have to admit I guess I have sinned in this area and let my own self down at times. But its not easy battling cancer and the changes it brings in your personal life. Instead of kicking and screaming its time to look at these experiences as opportunity to shape and mold me in ways I couldnt alone.
Continuing on from the Ensign......
When we struggle with self-worth, we need to remember the story of the widow's mite. ( see mark 12:$1-44)
Jesus did not call attention to the wealthy, who made a great display of presenting their offerings; instead, he pointed out the widow. She was not well-known or fashionable. She had few possessions. But Jesus saw her worth as a great women who was willing to share what she had. President Benson declared that "if we love God, do his will, and fear his judgement more hen men's, we will have self-esteem". Only through knowing that Heavenly Father truly loves us and wants us to come home to him can we experience an abiding peace and sense of who we really are. As we come to realize our eternal worth, we will excel and achieve because of our genuine gratitude to our Heavenly Father. Instead of wanting to measure up to the world's hallow, constantly fluctuating expectations, we will be motivated in all that we do by our love for our Father in Heaven, by our trust in his love for us, and by our desire to do his will.
So beautifully said. I may not have amazing talents to display, but deep within my soul are where my talents are hidden. I wont lie I sometimes feel less of a Mother because I dont have these "Traditional Mormon Mommy Talents". I love the gospel dont get me wrong, but I fail at meeting the expectations of a typical Mormon Mom. I dont know how to sew worth a darn, I have no patience for couponing, I dont hold a demanding calling, I dont have perfect straight laced children, I dont make homemade Jam or take time to can the veggies in my garden, and my house is always in complete disarray and chaos, not to mention my walls are naked and lacking decor. I do own a Mini Van so thats 1 point I can add to my "Cool Card":) But as I read this article in the Ensign it made me realize that the Savior loves and knows my talents that are hidden in my soul, buried within the walls of my home. My talents arnt on public display. But though my talents arnt not tangible, non the less there are just as unique and amazing. It's really true, if we get wrapped up in meeting the expectations of the world(even if its within our church) we are not only letting ourselves down but also our Heavenly Father too. I am glad to know that though I look boring and bare on the outside, its those special talents I carry as a mother that create true self worth. No one has to know what they are and they arnt very often publicly displayed, but as I begin to believe that my talents are of great eternal worth, it is I the one who seems boring and dull from the outside truly is magnificent from deep within.
Its time to find much joy in my duty as a Mother. Spend more time getting my knees dirty, laughing and playing with my kids rather then letting my social life and other circumstances get in my way of my self worth. For it is my Savior who I will fear judgement upon rather then men. Am I doing the best I can with an eternal perspective? I am completely utterly in love with being a Mommy and thats a talent. Now its time to find joy in that talent and find true fulfillment in raising 4 small little energetic boys and not look for acceptance anywhere else but from my Heavenly Father and from the people within the walls of my own home.
What a beautiful message today in church. This once broken spirit of mine is now shinning bright from within. Tomorrow I begin to find true happiness with my boys including my husband, for they truly are my best of friends and all I really need in this journey of Motherhood. Everything else I strive for is just icing on the cake.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
This little light of mine, Im gonna let it SHINE...
Posted by Keri at 1:53 PM
Labels: Motherhood, My Happiness Project, Spiritual Thought Sunday
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4 Little Monkeys:
Keri, this makes me want to cry. I posted something kind of like this just today but for sure not as meaningful. I can see one of your talents as you write this is writing! If you keep a journal or even if this is your journal your writing skills are amazing. Your kids we be able to look back and see how amazing their mother was. You make me want to strive to be a better person all around. Your strength reaches through your writing and touches my heart! I love you and think you are so amazing. I miss you so much! I needed to read something like this, this morning it prepared me for my day and my week! Thank you! LOVE YA!!
keri: you have GOT to relax and try not to be so hard on yourself. cancer or not, mormon or not, great clothes or not, sewing or not it doesn't matter. Raising 4 boys (or children of any kind) is just plain HARD! it is hard...your view of pretty blue vests, sweet kisses blows up pretty fast in todays world! I'm sure i have told you before, when the 4 girls were all 6 or under i KNEW i was in hell and it would never end-now, all of a sudden, they are all gone...take each day at a time, find time for yourself EACH day even if it is only 5 minutes on the toilet with the door locked! i used to walk over to the park and just sit...all by myself! if Perry can't be home every night, find a kid in the ward to come over a couple nights a week for an hour and get the heck out of dodge-take a walk, go to the park, sit in your car and cry-doesn't matter. Heck, i'll come over if you want. you are not a bad mom cuz you need a break-you are a better mom cuz you took a break much love
Thanks Joanna, You always have very wise words of wisdom. Youre right I am hard on myself and thats why I need to step back and look at my priorities and whom I am impressing anyways. Feels good to be reaching for those eternal goals rather then the worldly ones. Raising these boys may be all I can handle at this time but in that calling I am learning my true devine as a women and individual worth. I will work on not only caring for the little ones but also myself more. Youre right thats the important part of my survival. thanks
What the heck Keri? You are talented. You make every moment a speacial, specatular moment for each and every person in your family. I was thinking you were already the poster child for the perfect Mormon mom. We all fall so short of you. If you knew how to sew you'd probably already be translated. And frankly, that can't happen until the last little boy is raised and married off with four boys of his own.
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