Reflecting

The past couple of days I havnt been feeling very well. Just overspent and run ragged. I woke up this morning experiencing some pretty hefty Braxtin Hicks. I called the doctor to see if it was normal to feel this way at 23 weeks. I hadnt heard back form the doctor till late afternoon. Infact she called me while we were driving home from picking up Tyler from school. She advised me to go get checked at the hospital and make sure I wasnt experiencing pre-term labor. Luckly my dad made the sacrifice to drop all his plans to come hang out with my little munchkins while I went up to the hospital by myself. My mom was stucked up in reno at the temple and on her way. They hooked me up to the machines and I took a much needed nap which was heaven sent. In panic to find someone to watch my kids a good friend of mine Sunadda decided that since my dad would be home with the kids that she would come join me for company at the hospital. My mom bless her heart took over and cleaned and prepared my house for a "Scentsy Party" I was putting on in just hours. Everyone pulled together and took over in areas needed.

They did all kinds of tests and monitored the baby for a while. Luckily all test came back negative for any signs of pre-term labor. Thank Heavens. I was showing some braxtin hicks though and was told to make more time during the day to kick my feet up and stretch this pregnancy out as far as I can. I am known for delivering early so today was a wake up call to start taking better care of myself and to look for more down time during the day.

As I sat in the hospital talking with my friend I realized that today marks the due date to our little baby we lost several months ago. We sat and talked about all kinds of feelings and concerns. I was able to reflect on my little angel we lost. Though very small in the womb that baby was mighty in my heart. I didnt think I could be so spiritually connected to something so tiny and undeveloped. For me its a very unique relationship I have with this little one. I dont know if this recent pregnancy and little one I carry now is a second chance for that soul or if its a new spirit coming down, but either way I do know that Heavenly Father wanted me to take time out of my crazy hectic day and reflect on this wonderful spiritual experience both this and the previous pregnancy has been for me. This was a day of reflection. Life is fragile theres no doubt about that. I hold hope in my heart and soul each day that goes by that I feel my unborn baby kick and live inside of me. What a true blessing to not be taking for granite. What a gift....what a privilege to carry one of Gods child and raise and nurture it from the beginning of development inside the womb. I hope this little one will hold on and be extra forgiving of Mommys hectic life and stay nestled inside the womb till the proper time where I can deliver him and hold him in my arms.